• Revision and Rewriting
  • Rewriting is not JUST REWRITING.
  • It’s rewriting, rethinking, reconceptualizing and approaching new things.
  • Rethink
  • Perspective
  • Structure
    (Sequence of things)
  • Obstacles
  • Character’s behaviour
    actions/speech

• Everyone should at least try and rewrite their stories 5 times.

• Lose its original essence

• You will never find out what is really you until you write and rewrite.

• This doesn’t mean just polishing phrases. Rewrite a fair bit

TIP

• Study your story, see it with a new vision and changed values.
• Write it afresh
• Then maybe scrap it, start all over again – don’t be afraid to do this!
• After this, then you can begin “polishing”.
• Finding expressions with character, dialogue that has rhythm.
• It  ay take 2 or more versions to bring out the full colour of the characters or yourself.

Reflect on this!!

The inclination of the egoist is to get as much as he can, but at the same time not to change.

The goal of the character is to improve as much as we can without changing himself. Do not compromise. Does not want to give effort.

The Final Draft

1. Read with a fixed eye(focus on that)
   • Re-read through your story carefully
   • Focus on a particular aspect each time, ie, character, location, action, etc.
   • ( Something that can be visualized, do not put something that happens in the mind)

Ask yourself

• “Is the protagonist ALWAYS the focus of the story?”
• “Is he/she doing anything or is everyone else always doing stuff around him/her?
  • Passive
  • Active
• “Is he/she even there?!!!”
  • Does his presence make  a difference?

The chainsaw is your friend

• Now is the time to look at script economy
• Why have your reader dying to finish after 4 pages when they could be craving for more after 2

Ask yourself:

• “Where do my scenes begin? WHere do they end?”
  • End it at the point the reader wants to know more.
• “Can six lines be said in three?”
• “Can i trim the fat? Can i cut the exposition? Can i tell it visually instead?”

Crank it up!

• The stakes are high – can they be higher?
• More to lose = More dramatic tension

Ask yourself:

• “Does everything matter enough? Can everything matter more?
  • (Does the situation matter enough to the characters? If it matters more to the characters, the characters will matter more to the audience)
• “Am i giving my characters hell? Is it fun to see them squirm and satisfying enough when they get out of it?”

Assignment (Final Draft): 25%

• Write a final draft of an original 1-3 page story (max 2.5)
• Write in 3rd person / Present tense ( important, heavily marked on)
• 12pt Courier New / 1.5 Spaced
• No less than 1 page not more than 3 pages
• Due Week 15 (Friday 29 jan 2010 by 5pm, FMS admin Date and time stamp it ,Pigeon hole)
• First Draft together with final draft

• a physical place (created or real)
• It must allow events to take place
• The place in your story where events occur and characters interact
• May also represent the ‘villian’ in the story
• What elements make the location interesting? E.g geographical position, climate, rules (spoken & unspoken)
• A setting and surrounding that interacts with the characters of the film by adding importance to their actions
• An environment which impacts the action and heightens the stakes
• Threat of being in the location(man-made, physical)
• impact of a newly introduced character/element
• E.g Norma Rae

Jurassic Park

• Location: Jurassic Park is a zoo/amusement park located on an island off the coast of Central America.

• Interactive Location: The island is completely isolated, and anyone on it will be trapped until assistance from the mainland arrives.

<<Story is action>>

• No action = no interaction = no conflict
• Action encompasses any kind of movement, activity and interaction between the characters and also between the characters and their surroundings.
• Talking about how one feels is not as powerful as illustrating why one feels the way they do through action.

Aim of Pabrik Dodo

• Show how advancement in technology helps to improve factory efficiency but in the end, man is more trustworthy.

Pabrik Dodo

• The short film aims to show how advancement in technology has helped to improve the factory output and efficiency of products by replacing manpower, allowing it to be concentrated in other parts of the factory line.

- Illustrating emotion

• frustration –> Bang table
• happiness –> grinning from ear to ear
• sad –> anger
• excitement
• satisfaction
• disappointment

<<Film is Behaviour>>

• Action is the manifestation of behaviour
• The complexity of the human psyche and interaction is better understood when it is possible to watch the actions, nuances and reaction sof the characters.

<<Dynamic Action>>

• Has the potential to enrich the experiece of the audience by heightening the stakes and increasing the tension.

Moving Pictures

• The power of any story lies in the narrator’s ability to project a mental picture for the audience.

Pabrik Dodo

Shows how advancement in technology has helped improve factory efficiency, however man is still more trustworthy in the end

Purpose of the exercise

• Addresses the problem many newbies have to screenwriting

How to convey visually any sense of inner conflict of emotion

Rules

Translating emotional responses into actions without the use of dialogue.

Review: Inja

Recall and explain some actions/behavior that was a result of emotions the characters felt.

• Thembile hesitated to kill the dog or put in into the sack as a result of the love he felt for the dog.
• The master was frustrated at the lack of response to his command, thus he pointed the gun at Thembile.
• Thembile felt fear of getting caught thats why he looked around as he cut off the string.
• Due to love for his dog, he cut off the flagpole string which equivalent to stealing to make a necklace for the dog.
• Due to fear of dying, the master asked Thembile to kill the dog as it was hindering his survival.
• Due to personal pride, the master asked Thembile to let him show him how things was done.
• The boss had fear and was jealous of  the dog being more loyal to Thembile, thus he physically abused the dog.

Big Homework

1st draft of story due wed, 6 jan 2010

printed copy in class. Softcopy on SafeAssign

format: courier 12, single spacing

minimum 2 pages, maximum 3 pages

• Dialoague reveals character.
• A character will tell about himself and other people will talk about him.

• Dialogue establishes relationships between characters.

• Once you have established your main character’s POV, you can use dialogue with other characters to show that they have other attitudes, creating opposite alternative POVs.

• This helps to create and sustain the element of CONFLICT between characters.

• Good effective dialogue will move the story forwar
• Dialogue cimmunicates faces and information to tIr conhe audiece.
• It conveys essential exposition.
• Characters will talk about what happened, establishing the storyline.

Dialogue comments on the action.

Dialogue tier the script together.

It is one of the devices that YOU as a writer can use to expand and enlarge your character=l

<Dialogue is no substitution for themselves>

• In hollyword when they look at a page and its git tii nuch ink on the paper, they say:

• “SHIT! ITS FREEZE THE CAMERA TIME!!!”

COMMON MISTAKES

• STUDENTS SOMETIMES NEVER ACHIEVE A LEVEL OF COMPETENCE AS THEY TEND TO REPRODUCE CONVENTIONAL SPOKEN LANGUAGE, LONG STATEMENTS OF “REAL TALKING”, and defend their decision by telling us that:
• its how the charater chan9es.

GOOD dialogue is not somebody’s ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life.

• Inappropriate tone or language
• Cheesy
• long-winded
• unfocussed

If that was all there is to it, you can just push a button on the tape recorder and then go collect your oscars.

Good dialogue is the illusion of reality.

You’ve got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.

• COMMON MISTAKE
• Students tend to create radio shows with images.

<<FILM IS A VISUAL MEDIUM>>

A screenplay is a story told in pictures.

THE REAL EXERCISE

• Repeat “the experiment” but:

• Husband and Wife are YOUR own parents.

• Get two people to read the dialogue.



• Select a person that meant something to you in your past, but whom you no longer speak to now.
• Then write a letter which expresses all the things you wish could say to the person but can’t.
• Communicate the memories of important moments you had together in the past, and how your time spent together has made you a different person now than you were before.
• Password protect your page!

- Observe in a conscious way

-Observe minute details (their behaviour, attire, speech, stance, posture, mannerism/gestures, physical looks/attributes)

- Train yourself to see and record: — movements, physical characteristics, settings

- Adopt a keen eye

- Develop a natural sense of curiosity

*Phrasing of observation is very important

Some Questions.

- Who am i writing about?

- Who is my character?

-What is he/she /it likes?

-What does he/she/it/do?

-What happens to him /her/it in the story?

Mindless Observation vs True Observation

-True observation occurs when we ask questions regarding our observations. Making us think about what we see.

Exercise

-Develop the ability to see and RECORD people

–Movements

–Physical characteristics

–The setting / places of which they are in